Suspend Oral Hygiene

Dear Reader,

I'm writing to you today to brag about how much money I spent at the dentist this afternoon. I've done better, but given that I expected something just over $100, I think I fared pretty well with a final result of $230. I mean, I could have put more effort into it. I could have said something like "You must have at least one other piece of new technology that you're keeping from me though I absolutely need it if I'm to prevent the rapid and merciless onset of periodontic disease. COME ON." But I didn't. I left it at fluoride varnish and bitewings, which are certainly the most unpleasant experience available when it comes to dentistry that doesn't actually involve cutting of any kind.

But I digress. The funniest part of the visit was when the hygienist, whom I actually like very much, observed that on the packaging for the fluoride varnish it said both "Do not brush for 6 hours following the application of this product" and "Suspend oral hygiene for a full day following application of the product." I won't get into the niggly little details of whether or not they know how long a day is. I'm too tickled by the fact that they wrote "Suspend oral hygiene." Suspend oral hygiene? Really?

Sincerely,

Writer